Lately I’ve been considering my future here in Japan. I know, I know, I think a lot all the time. This time around it’s different though. I was discussing career paths with one of my friends and how we’d like to head abroad to experience life overseas – NYC, HK or other parts of the world. I know for sure that I don’t want to end up stuck here just because of my stubborn character.

This city is amazing. I have learnt so much from the last couple of years. The country had just been a holiday destination for me for so many years – a place where my relatives were, a place to chill out and just let everyone else take care of me. Now, it’s where I work, live and feel incredibly stressed out all the time. The gloss has started to rust. From the first month things really didn’t go according to plan, but I thought, ‘hey, that’s life. That’s the adventure I wanted!’ I have no regrets in moving here. I have grown and developed a lot from the various turmoils. But. But, there is so much regret that I feel. Regret that I didn’t pursue those opportunities. Regret that I am not even half the man I want to be.

Anyway, back to the main just of this entry. I don’t war to run away. I want to leave knowing that I have achieved all that I can here. I also know that ode I leave I probably won’t be back – or at least for a very long time. That means one thing. Give up on my dreams here and god new ones abroad. On a deeper note, it also means the probability of an international, non-native marriage increases. I think I need that native other half to keep me in check. I need it also to teach my kids our culture; the side of me that has been distorted by growing up abroad. However much I tell myself I am internationalised, I am still very much a national of this country.

To be honest. I had ulterior motives to come here. Other than work, I wanted to discover myself. I wanted what I had ignored for so long. I have yet o ahieve those things. That is probably why I will most likely stick around… I am stubborn afterall.