I just remembered how much I really really really don’t like this time of year. It’s not the festivities, or the weather, or anything like that at all; it’s the upcoming exams. Actually, it’s not even that. Exams, revising and studying are all part of the package of being a student and it’s something I will no doubt look back on with nostalgia in years to come. However, the thing that really grates is reading, hearing and talking about it. I suppose I’m being utterly hypercritical by writing this entry but I feel I need to vent this pent up frustration somehow.

Before I get on to the main topic of this blog entry I just want to discuss this blog in general. For some time I’ve been considering creating a public/facebook-safe blog (without relying on their “notes” feature) but also keeping this as a “friends-only” style blog. I’ve even gone so far as installing the blogging software on an alternate site ready for use. It’s not an easy decision to make though as I’m already blogging on two fronts – this mainly English based blog, and

Some things that I find irritating recently:

1. uncleanliness
   1. not finishing off your meal cleanly
   2. dirty surfaces
   3. messy room
2. certain people
   1. smokers – polluting the streets and my lungs whilst I walk home
   2. noisy people – especially when I’m trying to work
   3. people who knock and enter a room without waiting for a reply
   4. Chelsea supporters
   5. people who don’t eat every grain of rice
   6. myself
3. drinking to excess
   1. makes most people annoying
   2. makes me depressing
4. working 1000 times harder than everyone else yet still achieving less
   1. not being able to accept that certain people are smarter than I am
5. Google, except the search engine and maps
   1. generally

Ok, I thought that’d make me feel better… but now I’m totally trying to think of stuff that irritates me, which is….. irritating!

ok ok, on the flip side, things I enjoy at present

1. certain people
   1. people who waffle and are a bit random (to an extent)
2. Japanese
   1. food
   2. speaking in Japanese
3. Entertainment
   1. Japanese dramas and music
   2. cinema
   3. Last FM
4. Blogs
   1. though haven’t really found that many I like reading
   2. Mixi
5. Playing football
6. Doodling
7. Me time

it’s not exactly an exhaustive list coz otherwise we’d be here til morning…

Do you think nature or nurture has more affect on your perception of the world?

Do you have any irritations/enjoyments in particular at the moment?

Anyway, tomorrow is my final day of lectures (ever!)…. and friday is iNite day, wooo~~~! Hmm, I should prob get to bed soon *yawn*

Unfortunately despite the references to historic figures and their captivating speeches, this blog entry has only one thing in common…. I had a dream last night; one that has stuck with me throughout the day. Although the details of the dream faded within the first few minutes of waking up this morning, the general gist of it is unforgettable.

For some bizarre reason I haven’t really advertised the fact that I’ve finally decided where I’m going post graduation. I suppose having not actually sent off the contract nor informed the other firms of my decision, it hasn’t quite been made official yet. I sort of want to celebrate with a big dinner or something. I also will most likely figure out something closer graduation date and when I embark on my life beyond university.

Anyway, I went to the library yesterday and I realised something…. there are so many people at the university I go to that I’ve never spoken to, met or even seen before. If I list all the people I really know, I doubt I’ll even be able to list one person from every course available. I doubt I’ve even spoken to anyone from some of the courses. Reflecting on this thought in the library – whilst hunting for references for my individual project – I realised that earlier that day I looked around the computer lab in my department and didn’t recognise a majority of the people there any more. I suppose it makes sense as all the people I’ve encountered over the years I’ve been in the department have been from years above n possibly the year below. All these new faces, be it first or even second years, just reminds me how fast time can really go by.

I’ve had these moments that make me realise how big the world is, and how much older I’ve become since starting uni, have come more and more regularly in the past months; I suppose ever since my return from Japan back in September. The most recent moment was in the pub yesterday when the conversation turned to how young the people at the Union were compared to us. 17, 18 year olds compared to our 22, 23… that’s nearly an age gap of five years! A quarter….. wait, not even a quarter of my life any more….

Thinking about that has just reminded me of another conversation I had with some Japanese friends. In Japan we have era names beside the traditional year, with a new era traditionally starting on the ascension of a new Emperor. It is currently the 20th year of the Heisei era. The era before was known as Showa. I was born in Showa 59th year of the Showa era.  There are 64 “years” in the Showa period, although the 64th year is actually only 1 week as the previous Emperor died in the first week of January and therefore the first year of the Heisei period started from that point onwards.

Anyway, besides that short cultural interlude, my point was that there are now people starting university that are born in a totally different era to I am. Now that is a scary thought!

Despite my recent inability to let myself relax, the draining of confidence in my own abilities and the immense pressure of expectation I have built around me, my mind keeps turning…

So, as my time in this small closed world of childhood and student life draw to a close, I find myself staring at an immensely wide horizon feeling slightly older…. yet I also feel amazed and energised by what the future and this big big world will bring forth…

Over the past few weeks I’ve gradually ramped up the number of hours I’ve spent at college. It has taken me 3 years and 1 term to drive me to this point of dedication, hard work and doing more. I don’t know whether it’ll be enough to get me that grade I’m after, or meet the expectations that people around me and myself have set for me, but I don’t want to look back in a few years time with regret.

I know some of you may say that I may look back and regret that I didn’t make the most of student life by going out, partying and whatnot but to me, that can wait. I have a penchant to fall at the last hurdle, not quite give up but settle for second best, and that’s one habit  I want to break out of. In my attempt to do so I’ve managed to run up a fever of 38C and a ridiculously heart rate but I cannot give up just because of this slight oversight.

Happy New Year. 明けましておめでとうございます。今年もよろしく!All the best for 2008!

It’s been close to 10 years since I’ve experienced the turning of the year in Japan. A significant change to how I spent it last year. Last year I counted out 2006 with my parents standing in the freezing cold on Westminster Bridge watching the fireworks around the London Eye.

This year, I spent with my grandparents and my mum at the ancestral home here in Japan, pinning an お守り / omamori / amulet to the North corner of the 茶の間 / chanoma / living room. Although I feel Japan is not that religious it’s times like this that I realise that there is a deep rooted tradition in religious rituals, etc. I look around this home and there are amulets and various “blessed” objects on show everywhere.

It’s a real pure, refreshing atmosphere to be in.

I’m 23.  What can I say? I feel like I haven’t had much to say recently. Ever since I got back from Tokyo and especially more recently it just feels like there’s less to talk about on here. I’m also a bit disappointed that I haven’t managed to dig this blog from its emotional roots into something more substantial. Oh well…

I didn’t really want my next post to be under these circumstances but I really do need to get stuff off my chest at this point. A lot has happened since my last update including trips abroad, university stuff and what not but I’m writing this after what should have been an enjoyable night out.

I now find myself sitting here contemplating whether I should really stay in this country, whether to quit drinking alcohol entirely and why I even bother going out in the first place. The day generally has been a pretty tough and long day, with 9am tests on topics I don’t understand through to meetings with project supervisors discussing what the hell I should do.

Today was one of those days that pop up every now and again and truly surprise you. A day when you really had no idea what was going to happen or where I’d be at the end of it. I’m not talking about your standard impulsive behaviour or unplanned trip to the pub, I’m thinking way bigger than that. Today, I end the day dazed and slightly confused as to what exactly I accomplished. The day had started off as any regular Sunday, putting in a few hours of studying and surfing the internet. It also ended the same as usual with a number of hours spent wasting away infront of the Wii and episodes of some generic TV series. The crucial hours were those in the middle of the day; those were the hours I had not forseen.