At times I feel like broadcasting my inner thoughts and feelings to the entire world. Sometimes a 140 character limit is not enough, even if there is no limit on the number of times you take advantage of that.

I’ve been wondering whether this ‘alias’ and having this split identity is worth the trouble. I mean, admittedly there are people in my life that I don’t want to share some things with, but then again there are some topics that I do want to share.

I’m very reserved so it’s difficult to bring up in conversation directly bit through the net it seems easier. On one hand I want people to know the real me, but on the other hand it would be great of these mags could have guarantees delivery to the right people. However, the net is not a courier service, nor a telepathic medium.

Not quite sure what I’m trying to say here. I guess, 1. I feel disconnected at times. 2. I wish I could connect better with this world. 3. Am I becoming increasingly reclusive / lacking enthusiasm / losing my drive to grow? … Or something like that ;p

At times I feel like broadcasting my inner thoughts and feelings to the entire world. Sometimes a 140 character limit is not enough, even if there is no limit on the number of times you take advantage of that.

I’ve been wondering whether this ‘alias’ and having this split identity is worth the trouble. I mean, admittedly there are people in my life that I don’t want to share some things with, but then again there are some topics that I do want to share.

I’m very reserved so it’s difficult to bring up in conversation directly bit through the net it seems easier. On one hand I want people to know the real me, but on the other hand it would be great of these mags could have guarantees delivery to the right people. However, the net is not a courier service, nor a telepathic medium.

Not quite sure what I’m trying to say here. I guess, 1. I feel disconnected at times. 2. I wish I could connect better with this world. 3. Am I becoming increasingly reclusive / lacking enthusiasm / losing my drive to grow? … Or something like that ;p

I’ve been thinking about my ideal lifestyle lately – or more accurately, what I wish I could be doing every other week or so.

• Cinema: Back in the UK I regularly went to a see a film – Orange Wednesdays and so forth. Since coming over here, I have been to the cinema just once.
• Guys’ Night Out: It would nice to go to a quiet bar with a close friend and just talk about guys stuff
• Road Trip: Hire a car, go driving through those winding roads? Stop off at look out point, sit on the hillside and chill out…
• Weekend Trip: A domestic or NJA trip. See more of this beautiful country and continent

Things like the cinema and the chilling out and chatting at a bar/cafe would be something I’d like to do week in week out. The guy’s night out doesn’t really have to be guys only, I think I just feel that it’d be nice to take some time out of my hectic life to just sit and chat.

Romantically or just with friends the road tripping and weekend trip have the same aim really… to make new memories.

My first week back from vacation has passed without any major events.

Considering the apprehension I felt last weekend, and the whole “let’s do something” attitude, I ended up slipping back into my life without remorse. Don’t get me wrong, I still have all those delusions of grandeur swirling through my mind – travelling the world, doing volunteer work, going to the gym, etc… but somehow it’s just far too easy to put all of that on the back-burner.

Statement: Last night I drank a lot. It’s been a while since I drank so much – I mean, I can’t say it’s been a while since I drank, but it’s definitely been a good period of time since I really wanted to drink so much. I’m wondering what that shot I had was? I remember it being incredibly tasty with no bite.

Anyway, it was a “Charity” party, but from my point of view, it looked more like just a party at a bar as there seemed to be minimal charity appeal. I had these visions of expanding my social network, but as always, the reality of it is that that didn’t really happen! I mean, I met a lot of people but I doubt that it had any long-term affect on my network at all. Sucks slightly. Don’t get me wrong though, I had a fantastic time and it has definitely been a while since I’ve been invited to such a party – a charity function or not. Hopefully I’m not wasting away all these opportunities by being so reserved.

This past week, I’ve been on a mission to streamline stuff, specifically my computer; as I’ve mentioned previously, I’m backing up all my data as regularly as possible – with the thought of my computer dying hanging over me – plus, cutting out as much crap installed on my computer. Hmm, I don’t really have much else to say on this topic. I did look into how I could blog post without going through a browser and using a text editor instead… but that went nowhere.

I was asked yesterday who I missed the most during my vacation. I let the question slide by making a stupid comment but having thought about it – wading through memories of last week, I don’t really know to be honest. Well, to be honest, it was only a week and I had my phone on me so I wasn’t exactly out of touch.

Hmm, anyway, my stomach is grumbling so I think I’ll wrap this up for now.

The past few weeks my parents have been visiting, along with my younger brother it’s been a wonderful family reunion. This last weekend, us brothers went out together. It’s been a while since I last had family around – I mean, that’s not entirely true but it was nice to hang out with them.

Hmm, actually I’m not entirely sure what else to write about. This weekend has been very hectic – the total opposite to my usual relaxing chilled out days/evenings infront of the tv. But yeah, I’ve been told a few times over the past few weeks that they thought I was the youngest out of my brothers – that in itself does not bother me as it means I still look young and that work stresses haven’t aged me too much yet. Not being driven does though… motivationally I might be slightly lacking the skills necessary to expand my social circle and to keep my current friends close. I need to find a way to break out of this shell and not just sit there in the corner.

I have no idea what I’m blabbering about. I’m definitely knackered today.

So, the question is… what are my dreams? what are my ambitions? what am I doing with my life these days? The short interlude of keeping everything around me on hold whilst my family have been here is coming to a close but yeah… early night tonight, so need a good night’s sleep!

Spring is nearly upon us. Today I was finally able to ditch my jumper and spend the whole day without shivering once. Admittedly, I was still wearing a jacket and a long coat, but the shedding of the jumper must be a clear sign that the cold spell is over. I guess the other sign would be the root of that being it’s actually getting warm. Additionally, the ever increasing irritation cause by that allergy commonly known as hayfever.

After my initial unsurprisingly underwhelming prescription last month, the doc upped my daily dosage and it seems to be working better!

Anyway, Tom Cruise is on SMAPxSMAP. It’s interesting to see how much older he looks now compared to his Top Gun, and even M.I days! I also forgot he married Katie Holmes. So still think he’s with Kidman.

Ooo, I also forgot he was in Interview With A Vampire… that was one of those films that I tend to forget about but it’s one I like.

But yeah, not much else to report from this side of the world.

Oh, one last thing. My washing machine broke over the weekend, but it still works (without the drum spinning)… I’m trying to see how much longer it’ll last…. they’re bloody expensive to replace. The most expensive can cost up to a K?

It’s been a long week; as work gets busier, life gets simpler. The day to day stresses have morphed from those that will burn me out to those that seem more manageable. Thinking back the hellish week before my vacation, I remember how stressed out I was – honestly, I can’t really explain the reasons behind the manageability.

I think with work as well as with life, it’s the simple fact of being acknowledged. It doesn’t matter how simple the task, all that matters is the people around you appreciating your presence and effort.

In this era of economic uncertainty, the simple fact of having a decent income and decent work to do is something to be thankful for. Admittedly, this doesn’t stop anyone from complaining about everything and anything.

The pursuit of happiness; happiness is sometimes painted as this grand idea but it can really come from the smallest things.

When your heart and your head are in different places, or even the same place, it can be confusing. Man should never give up that pursuit.

You know it’s nearly 6 months since I moved to Japan. Questions such as what I have achieved, what I still need to achieve and all that need answers….

I think life is all about the balance between contemplation and conversation.

I have no idea what I’m talking about.

Let the count down begin

So, I decided to whip out DDR tonight as I thought it’d help with me race against time to get somewhat fit for the ski trip this weekend. Yes, I’m going skiing this weekend. For the first time in 10 odd years, I’m going to hit the slopes. I am so going to end up cramping on my first run aren’t I?

Anyway, so DDR was no where near the work out I needed – I think walking around burnt more calories than it did, but it did get me in the mood for a music game. I switched DDR for guitar hero. Seriously, it needs DLC (downloadable content), or I need a new version with more songs I want to play. I also realised that not playing it for a few months really screws you over as I could barely complete the EASY difficulty level.

So, I heard this ringing – yes, that’s the really bad reference in the title – whilst I was playing Guitar Hero, but I decided to blame it on a dodgy connection between the Wii – TV – Stereo, and ignored it. However, it got annoying so I decided to turn the stereo off – no effect. I then turned the TV off – no effect.

Now, it did some hunting after the discovery that it was neither Guitar Hero, the TV or the stereo. Maybe the laptop next to the TV? Nope. Turns out the incredibly irritating ringing was coming from outside. It’s like one of those crowd dispersal devices, which emit an incredibly high pitch sound, but this was a lower pitch and distinctly noticeable. It’s similar to an old Fridge whining in the background, but at high pitch. I really do hope that it stops soon!

Dubbing

Why does tv dubbing always sound extremely fake? Especially for dubbing English in Japanese – they always seem to use the same voice actors for every male and every female?

Joysound

This entry is turning to be all about audio. Anyway, there’s a new game out for the Wii called Karaoke Joysound, which is basically an at-home karaoke cd with included microphone. It’s actually quite a good deal as as well as the preloaded tracks, it has a subscription service for unlimited downloads for a single day or multiple days. The subscription allows you to access a massive online database of songs for the limited period you paid for – especially useful for house parties.

Anyway, I was quite tempted to buy it, but then I realised that I don’t really know many of the preloaded songs, or not good enough to sing anyway.

Games

Wii Play: Mario Tennis GC does actually look tempting to buy. I mean, it’s a port, and I don’t normally consider buying ports but it does look fun to play with motion control.

Other games that are on my wish list include Biohazard (Resident Evil 5), Tatsunoko vs Capcom (street fighter-esque), and I wish Winning Eleven Play Maker 2009 would hurry up and come out!

So, this entry has nothing to do with the New Year. Oh well…

So, I’ve started driving lessons again. Maybe I’ve mentioned this previously already but lessons in Japan take place on a special course off the road. It’s usually an oval circuit with internal chicanes and so forth in the centre. Anyway, I’ve only had my first lesson so far but I’ve found that all the hours I’ve put in back in London have not gone to waste. My body still seems to remember how to start, change gears and control the car. However, the Japanese getting license is a lot more painful than in the UK. You have to first get a provisional license by practising on these off road circuits for a number of hours and then after you’ve got that you can start practising on the roads. Finally, after taking the on-road test, you have to take another course for driving on highways and basic first aid. Within all that there’s the theory test for the provisional and another theory test for the full license. Expensive, time consuming but hopefully worthwhile at the end of it!

Oops, that was a hell of a long paragraph!

Anyway, today was the first time I drank a Japanese favourite, the hot coffee in a can from a vending machine. Unfortunately, the way I imagined I’d be sharing a hot coffee can and my first experience greatly differed. There’s something somewhat romantic about being on a date on a cold day, buying a girl a hot coffee can, warming up your hands whilst talking late into the evening sitting on a bench somewhere. … or something like that.

My granddad told me there are certain things a man must do to truly be whole:

1. Get a drivers license
2. Good money management
3. Photography
4. Be able to use a computer

My brothers view of things to prioritise is as follows:

1. Work
2. Find a girlfriend

My view? Well, I think I respect my grandfather a lot more than my brother, but work and finding a girl cannot be ignored. Ah well, one step at at time!

I’ve been having a bit of a 90s throwback with what I’ve been listening to recently. The last few months have been dominated by songs from the Oricon charts, very J-pop-esque songs. Maybe I just bored of listening to that stuff, or maybe there’s a deeper reason behind it all but I’ve started shifting towards songs I used to listen to.

I got the new album by Guns ‘N Roses, Chinese Democracy, which reminded me of all the bands from the 90s. Bands like AC/DC, Offspring, Disturbed, Oasis, … Eminem, Daft Punk, Feeder… some of these artists are still around today, some aren’t. I think my music for the coming weeks will gradually shift back to reminiscence.

Featuring, Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, Green Day, Led Zeppelin, Metallica, Queen, Meat Loaf… back to the good ole days…