I always feel terrible, absolutely awful afterwards. As well as the expected gaping hole in my life, the feelings always have more than a hint of annoyance at myself. So many things go through my head, so many things that want to be said and so many things that need to be said. Yet they remain unspoken. How can something so wonderful, so warm and so important be this complicated.

Last night I had the Plain White T’s song “Friends Don’t Let Friends Dial Drunk” playing in my head. It’s a great song and there are some good lines in it…one in particular, my mind kept screaming at me. The line got a bit morphed but the jist of it was there. It cut me up and knifed me a million times before I fell asleep.

Anyway, as most of you know I had a party on Saturday. It wasn’t quite one of those parties which turn into everlasting memories that I had built it up to be but I had a fantastic time. So many of my old school friends turned up that I wasn’t expecting. It definitely boosts the confidence when so many friends turn up. You feel loved. But yeah, due to my craziness and idiocy I ended up staying awake for around 40 hours but yeah… more later

Friday
I had one of those moments during the exam yesterday. I sat down and realised my bladder may not last the two hours – quenching thirst can be counter-productive on occasion. Fortunately my bladder did not explode. Unfortunately, worse was to come. As soon as the exam started and I read the first question, my mind went blank – a total pure white. The question was one of those compare and contrast two differing concepts but I could not remember a single thing about one of the concepts. Anyway, after muddling through the first question by continuing to refer to only one of the concepts, I was more successful for the remainder of the paper.

On completion of the third of the required questions, I remembered my initial blanking and thought I’d read through the question again – no luck, my mind still drew a blank. At that point, I considered whether this was due to the pressures of the exam or whether I had really failed to revise that topic.

Oh well… two left